A Note to my Friends

Dear Twenty-First Century,
I LOVE YOU. (Don't tell Ninteenth Century - he'll be jealous.) I just thought you should know, Twenty-First, because I don't tell you I love you often enough. I know a lot of your old friends don't really like you anymore, and some of the new people you hang out with are pretty low and trashy, and that can't be good for your self-esteem. I want you to know, Twenty-First Century, that I am on your side, I do love you. Keep it up!
Hugs and Kisses,
Kenna


Dear National Novel Writing Month,
We're totally BFFs, right? I know I don't always seem the nicest to you, but you got to face it - you're kinda clingy. I mean, I love you and all, and when we're together I have so much fun! But then when I'm hanging out with Christmas or New Years or even College, you're always emailing me and texting me, 'checking up' or whatever, and that's cool, but I want to make sure you're not getting too dependent on me. You have other friends, you know, and we;re still BFFs, I just have other friends too that I need to hang out with (y'know, give them fair time). Anyway, I'll be seeing you a lot this month - it'll be fun! - so we can talk more later, if you need to.
With lots of love,
Kenna


Dear Netflix,
I'm writing to make sure you don't have the wrong impression. We are NOT going out. I'm sorry if you thought differently, but sorry, we're not. I'd give you the whole 'it's not you, it's me' talk, but I'd be lying - it is you. You're sweet enough, Netflix, and I love hanging out, but we're always talking about YOU, never what I like or what I want, and sometimes it takes you way too long to get back to me on something, and let's face it - you're not very helpful. I certainly don't want to end our relationship, I just want to make sure you understand where I'm coming from.
Sincerely,
Kenna


Dear Halloween,
I was writing to all my other friends, and I thought of you, and I have something to get off my chest - you are NOT as cool as you think you are. Or, at least, as you appear to think you are. I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but seriously, you were so much cooler when we were younger. What's with the whole "Halloween Lights" thing? It's like you're trying to be Christmas, just with dressing up - and don't worry, I LOVE the dressing up, because it's so YOU, whereas the lights and the parties and everything are like you trying to be someone you're not. Halloween, you are awesome the way you are, don't try to pretend to be cooler, because really, you can't get any cooler than Halloween :)
Well wishes,
Kenna


Dear College,
I'm on to you, you know. As much as you seem to really hate High School (And, just a note, High School really seems to look up to you, so you should be nicer to her), you're really just a legalized version of her. All the stupid things High School does, you do with authority. Sure, there are smart moment, on both your parts, but it's like High School is the Prohibition, and what does that make you, the Great Depression? Just something to think about.
Sincerely,
Kenna


Dear Alarm Clock,
I don't hate you. I know it seems that way, you just catch me at a bad time most days. Seriously, though, I don't hate you - you're so cute and adorable and I love you to pieces, so please don't feel bad because I'm not always very nice to you.
With lots of love,
Kenna

EDIT: New notes

Dear Puffs Plus Lotion,
I'm writing on behalf of my nose, who, sadly, can not write for himself. He wants me to tell you that he had a really great time last night, and he'd like to hang out again, if you feel up to it. He thinks you're really nice and sweet, much better than the other girls he's gone out with, and there might be something real to this relationship.
Hoping to see you again,
Kenna (and her nose)

Dear Facebook,
I don't really think I need to explain very much to you. I mean, we're certainly not best friends or anything, but I do admittedly tell you a lot, and I think we're pretty close. I understand that you're still growing and like to change things up, and while you can be a bit annoying, I generally get used to your antics, so... yeah. This is just a note to let you know that we're still good friends. Don't be worried if I don't always spend all day with you, or if I seem to be going back to old friends, because I don't really think we'll ever, y'know, "break up." Not that we're, y'know, going out or anything.
(Are we?)
-Kenna