I Could Build a Wall out of Dried Gum

To write this blog, I looked up the history of chewing gum. Y'know, it's that tasty stuff one puts in ones mouth to mechanically bite at for hours and hours, knowing full well that they wont swallow and if they do, they could produce major damage to their inner organs. Well, I looked up it's history to start of the blog (that makes this paragraph the prologue).

Contrary to the popular adage, chewing gum can be traced back to the ancient Greeks and Mayans, who chewed tree sap for fun (why else would they?), not a doctor who needed to find a way to exercise dentures (though I imagine that use was found for gum, too). When Pilgrims came across the plains, the Native Americans (who were, obviously, not from India, and therefore not Indians) introduced the addictive habit to them and were able to obtain more food through trade by supplying the Pilgrims with the inedible substance.

I probably don't have to tell you now that I do not like gum, in general. My syntax should have done that.

Reason One - The Sound, and not just the sound of obnoxious-breathing-through-my-mouth-while-chewing. Even if you try to be subtle and quiet, my ears are very good, and I can hear it. The constant squish of saliva and rubber and rubbery saliva, even through a wall of cheek cells, is still enough to bug anyone. The other day, in my Biology class, the kid next to me was chewing quietly, the same piece of gum he had from lunch (I assume). I kept hearing, in my head, Bones mention the puncture wound in the jugular (Dang, second post and I already made a Bones reference!), and I would think to myself 'It's my pen! I am going to stab in him the throat with my pen! I am going to puncture his jugular and kill this kid and all because he is chewing this piece of gum so consistently and annoyingly I can't stand it!' Don't worry, I didn't, but it wasn't a fun class period.
Solution - wear ear plugs. This also keeps out the saliva-bubble-popping sound of people biting their nails during tests. Or, tell them to stop, but this doesn't produce nearly as much result.

Reason Two - The Uselessness of chewing rhythmically on something you cannot swallow. I have never been a big gum chewer, so I do not see the draw here. If somebody could comment with their explanation, that would be much appreciated. I wonder if maybe it is just an energy killer (which I would understand, people need to burn energy in small amounts like that or it adds up and they become hyperactive), in which case I would consider something like math or world philosophy, which requires (I hear) a constant, uninterrupted train of thought. Then again, I just don't like Gum, so I am going to find any excuse I can to put it down.
Solution - make a gum you can swallow - like rare meat, you know? The kind you have to chew at for ten minutes until you give up and swallow it, limply, whole. Or just... eat food....


Reason Three - The Mess of the untastable, dried gum. I mean, shouldn't ecologist be concerned about this!? Gum isn't biodegradable (meaning that, no matter how much fungus grows on it, it wont break down into parts the fungus can use, or parts usable by any plant-life to grow), which leads one to wonder at how much landfill space is full of the almost-rock-hard stuff. As this blog title suggests, we could probably start using old Chewing Gum in construction to build walls and streets. What of the gum that doesn't become black spots on walkways in school will become false bottoms of desks and shoes, or very effective pigeon-icide.
Solution - Britain is instituting "Chewing Gum Recycling Bins" around cities, though I am unsure of what is done with the bin after it is found full. I'm totally going with the 'Build a Wall' solution, however.