OH MAN. THAT'S what I'll do. I'm amazing. I'll elaborate at the end of my blog, but read on for now.
It's been bugging me a lot recently - I have realized that I trapped myself in a corner and I'm seriously going to have to fight my way out. Almost everybody around me has taken up the hobby of noticing, finely, every single moment I am not wearing the color Green, and making a proclamation about it. Be it at Church, School, Seminary, outdoors activities... I tricked myself into being forced to wear green everywhere, or else everyone freaks out.
I like the color green. It just so happens to be my favorite one. But, just like I'm not going to go around eating my favorite food all day, every day, I don't want to only ever wear my favorite color. Doing any good thing too often degrades the goodness of it - that's why Adam and Eve couldn't stay in Eden (well, it's one of the reasons). After a while, it doesn't feel as good anymore.
So, while Green is a pretty awesome color, I refuse to wear it every day. Sometimes, I want to wear other things.
While writing the title to this blog, I got an amazing idea - I'll paint my thumb Green!! That way, whenever people say "Yur nawt waring gween," I can give them the thumps-up and walk away (I used to just walk away, but part of me feels bad for giving others the cold shoulder). I think I will try going a whole week without wearing green, except for my thumb, and see how people react. Yeah.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
I Could Build a Wall out of Dried Gum
To write this blog, I looked up the history of chewing gum. Y'know, it's that tasty stuff one puts in ones mouth to mechanically bite at for hours and hours, knowing full well that they wont swallow and if they do, they could produce major damage to their inner organs. Well, I looked up it's history to start of the blog (that makes this paragraph the prologue).
Contrary to the popular adage, chewing gum can be traced back to the ancient Greeks and Mayans, who chewed tree sap for fun (why else would they?), not a doctor who needed to find a way to exercise dentures (though I imagine that use was found for gum, too). When Pilgrims came across the plains, the Native Americans (who were, obviously, not from India, and therefore not Indians) introduced the addictive habit to them and were able to obtain more food through trade by supplying the Pilgrims with the inedible substance.
I probably don't have to tell you now that I do not like gum, in general. My syntax should have done that.
Reason One - The Sound, and not just the sound of obnoxious-breathing-through-my-mouth-while-chewing. Even if you try to be subtle and quiet, my ears are very good, and I can hear it. The constant squish of saliva and rubber and rubbery saliva, even through a wall of cheek cells, is still enough to bug anyone. The other day, in my Biology class, the kid next to me was chewing quietly, the same piece of gum he had from lunch (I assume). I kept hearing, in my head, Bones mention the puncture wound in the jugular (Dang, second post and I already made a Bones reference!), and I would think to myself 'It's my pen! I am going to stab in him the throat with my pen! I am going to puncture his jugular and kill this kid and all because he is chewing this piece of gum so consistently and annoyingly I can't stand it!' Don't worry, I didn't, but it wasn't a fun class period.
Solution - wear ear plugs. This also keeps out the saliva-bubble-popping sound of people biting their nails during tests. Or, tell them to stop, but this doesn't produce nearly as much result.
Reason Two - The Uselessness of chewing rhythmically on something you cannot swallow. I have never been a big gum chewer, so I do not see the draw here. If somebody could comment with their explanation, that would be much appreciated. I wonder if maybe it is just an energy killer (which I would understand, people need to burn energy in small amounts like that or it adds up and they become hyperactive), in which case I would consider something like math or world philosophy, which requires (I hear) a constant, uninterrupted train of thought. Then again, I just don't like Gum, so I am going to find any excuse I can to put it down.
Solution - make a gum you can swallow - like rare meat, you know? The kind you have to chew at for ten minutes until you give up and swallow it, limply, whole. Or just... eat food....
Reason Three - The Mess of the untastable, dried gum. I mean, shouldn't ecologist be concerned about this!? Gum isn't biodegradable (meaning that, no matter how much fungus grows on it, it wont break down into parts the fungus can use, or parts usable by any plant-life to grow), which leads one to wonder at how much landfill space is full of the almost-rock-hard stuff. As this blog title suggests, we could probably start using old Chewing Gum in construction to build walls and streets. What of the gum that doesn't become black spots on walkways in school will become false bottoms of desks and shoes, or very effective pigeon-icide.
Solution - Britain is instituting "Chewing Gum Recycling Bins" around cities, though I am unsure of what is done with the bin after it is found full. I'm totally going with the 'Build a Wall' solution, however.
Contrary to the popular adage, chewing gum can be traced back to the ancient Greeks and Mayans, who chewed tree sap for fun (why else would they?), not a doctor who needed to find a way to exercise dentures (though I imagine that use was found for gum, too). When Pilgrims came across the plains, the Native Americans (who were, obviously, not from India, and therefore not Indians) introduced the addictive habit to them and were able to obtain more food through trade by supplying the Pilgrims with the inedible substance.
I probably don't have to tell you now that I do not like gum, in general. My syntax should have done that.
Reason One - The Sound, and not just the sound of obnoxious-breathing-through-my-mouth-while-chewing. Even if you try to be subtle and quiet, my ears are very good, and I can hear it. The constant squish of saliva and rubber and rubbery saliva, even through a wall of cheek cells, is still enough to bug anyone. The other day, in my Biology class, the kid next to me was chewing quietly, the same piece of gum he had from lunch (I assume). I kept hearing, in my head, Bones mention the puncture wound in the jugular (Dang, second post and I already made a Bones reference!), and I would think to myself 'It's my pen! I am going to stab in him the throat with my pen! I am going to puncture his jugular and kill this kid and all because he is chewing this piece of gum so consistently and annoyingly I can't stand it!' Don't worry, I didn't, but it wasn't a fun class period.
Solution - wear ear plugs. This also keeps out the saliva-bubble-popping sound of people biting their nails during tests. Or, tell them to stop, but this doesn't produce nearly as much result.
Reason Two - The Uselessness of chewing rhythmically on something you cannot swallow. I have never been a big gum chewer, so I do not see the draw here. If somebody could comment with their explanation, that would be much appreciated. I wonder if maybe it is just an energy killer (which I would understand, people need to burn energy in small amounts like that or it adds up and they become hyperactive), in which case I would consider something like math or world philosophy, which requires (I hear) a constant, uninterrupted train of thought. Then again, I just don't like Gum, so I am going to find any excuse I can to put it down.
Solution - make a gum you can swallow - like rare meat, you know? The kind you have to chew at for ten minutes until you give up and swallow it, limply, whole. Or just... eat food....
Reason Three - The Mess of the untastable, dried gum. I mean, shouldn't ecologist be concerned about this!? Gum isn't biodegradable (meaning that, no matter how much fungus grows on it, it wont break down into parts the fungus can use, or parts usable by any plant-life to grow), which leads one to wonder at how much landfill space is full of the almost-rock-hard stuff. As this blog title suggests, we could probably start using old Chewing Gum in construction to build walls and streets. What of the gum that doesn't become black spots on walkways in school will become false bottoms of desks and shoes, or very effective pigeon-icide.
Solution - Britain is instituting "Chewing Gum Recycling Bins" around cities, though I am unsure of what is done with the bin after it is found full. I'm totally going with the 'Build a Wall' solution, however.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Step One: Creating a Blog
Nobody always asks me why I don't keep a steady blog (They do ask occasionally, however). In reality, I have a Myspace blog (Gone to shambles. That's a word, right?), a classroom blog (I am assigned to write a daily blog for my English class), a DeviantArt blog (It's a journal, technically, but only two or three people can read it) and now this one. That makes... four, total. But I decided to start a regular blog, in hopes of abolishing permanently my use of Myspace and writing something that everyone can read. Or at least everyone who bothers.
I decided to write this blog as a sort of extended 'Status Update', referring obviously to Facebook. Status Update is a wonderful thing, but sometimes I just want to write a longer version (Which is why you see me commenting my own comments sometimes). That, of course, is where the blog title comes from. That, and my own test-induced brain-dead-ness. Yes, it is a word, and an unnaturally occurring disorder that should be treated with long, four-day weekends.
Anyway, when starting the blog, the first this you need to do is decide where to host it. BlogSpot is the obvious choice, and since I couldn't find anywhere else in 5 seconds that sounded better, it's the one I went with. I wasn't sure if I already had a Blogspot or not, but since there was no error message on entering my Yahoo email, I guess everything went smoothly. After that, one has to chose a name.
Name choosing is the dreaded task. No one wants a name with more than two numbers, and yet sometimes this is the sacrifice you have to go through to get the perfect name. Here are some names I went through:
-GinnyM (Uncreative...)
-StatusUpdate (More uncreativity)
-Writer (Someone I might follow!)
-Megabyte (TT_TT That's my cat's name!)
-Blank (This was their first blog ever!)
-Welcome (running out of ideas here...)
-Ambient
-Awareness (these two words go together_
-Identity (referring to the dissociative kind)
-Available (out of desperation)
"Disociative" was only free because I spelled it wrong - it's supposed to be Dissociative (and it refers to Multiple Personality Disorder, which is really called Dissociative Identity Disorder).
Some of those blogs were interesting, but note the date of the last entry. For most of them, 2001 or 2003. which means their writers might never use them again. EVER. They could have been mine. -.-
Well, I'll close this first-blog-ever (on Blogger) on this note: I hope most of my posts will be short. Otherwise, I probably wont want to post often. I'm going to try to make them just extended Status Updates - things like randoms thoughts I have. Also, I'll try not to make them boring. I'll wont write "I'm sleepy" every day, I promise. I want these posts to be interesting, and thought provoking, and maybe even a little humorous. Lastly, I'll try not to quote Bones to often, but I know that's a failed promise already. It's too tempting. And too worth while. For me. Sorry, please excuse me in advance.
I decided to write this blog as a sort of extended 'Status Update', referring obviously to Facebook. Status Update is a wonderful thing, but sometimes I just want to write a longer version (Which is why you see me commenting my own comments sometimes). That, of course, is where the blog title comes from. That, and my own test-induced brain-dead-ness. Yes, it is a word, and an unnaturally occurring disorder that should be treated with long, four-day weekends.
Anyway, when starting the blog, the first this you need to do is decide where to host it. BlogSpot is the obvious choice, and since I couldn't find anywhere else in 5 seconds that sounded better, it's the one I went with. I wasn't sure if I already had a Blogspot or not, but since there was no error message on entering my Yahoo email, I guess everything went smoothly. After that, one has to chose a name.
Name choosing is the dreaded task. No one wants a name with more than two numbers, and yet sometimes this is the sacrifice you have to go through to get the perfect name. Here are some names I went through:
-GinnyM (Uncreative...)
-StatusUpdate (More uncreativity)
-Writer (Someone I might follow!)
-Megabyte (TT_TT That's my cat's name!)
-Blank (This was their first blog ever!)
-Welcome (running out of ideas here...)
-Ambient
-Awareness (these two words go together_
-Identity (referring to the dissociative kind)
-Available (out of desperation)
"Disociative" was only free because I spelled it wrong - it's supposed to be Dissociative (and it refers to Multiple Personality Disorder, which is really called Dissociative Identity Disorder).
Some of those blogs were interesting, but note the date of the last entry. For most of them, 2001 or 2003. which means their writers might never use them again. EVER. They could have been mine. -.-
Well, I'll close this first-blog-ever (on Blogger) on this note: I hope most of my posts will be short. Otherwise, I probably wont want to post often. I'm going to try to make them just extended Status Updates - things like randoms thoughts I have. Also, I'll try not to make them boring. I'll wont write "I'm sleepy" every day, I promise. I want these posts to be interesting, and thought provoking, and maybe even a little humorous. Lastly, I'll try not to quote Bones to often, but I know that's a failed promise already. It's too tempting. And too worth while. For me. Sorry, please excuse me in advance.
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